December 22, 2000
Published on tags: Superleague
In a press conference yesterday, TBA Racing owner & manager, Chaz Charlton announced he was quite satisfied with the way the first season of the GPVWC panned out for his team. After several initial (and quite major!) set-backs in the team line-up at the beginning of the year, Charlton said things had improved continuously since he took charge mid-season and was determined to make further strides forward in the 2001 championship.

When questioned about the teams finances for next year, Chaz said that the new sponsors, Knight Air would still be providing the major sponsorship deal for 2001, despite pulling out of the last 2 races this year.

It was purely a contractual problem which prevented Knight taking over from Polo as our major sponsor said Charlton, adding that due to certain dealings unbeknown to him, Polo are suing 2 members of the TBA back-room staff for theft. The only thing Charlton commented on in this matter was that everytime he entered the PR tent at the races, there was a definite overpowering odour of peppermint.

Commenting on the proposed engine and driver line-ups for next year Charlton would not be drawn too far only commenting that he was more than happy to keep Rolls-Royce engines providing the price was right and the firm provide him with transport suitable for a team manager. On the driver front, all Chaz would say is that he was more than happy with Jonas Lindbergs performance in the closing races going as he did from strength to strength and proving he is 110% reliable.

As was proved in this year's constructors championship, it was reliability and not outright wins that decided the constructors title. I think there's an important lesson there for all team managers" commented the TBA boss.

When questioned about the pit-crew (known in the paddock as The Firm) and their dubious off-track antics and dealings, Charlton would not be drawn into any incriminating discussions stating that he was happy with the current crew minus the few who were currently being detained at Her Majesty's Pleasure, in hospital or missed the last race after Pit crew fuel man Jimmy Zambo and 2 others failing to fly back with the team from the private testing session in Austria. When questioned about the disastrous test (not 1 lap was completed due to the aforementioned pit-crew being arrested) Charlton refused to comment but he was not happy when the reporter handed out the following front page of an Austrian newspaper.

At this revelation, Charlton fumed that Jimmy Zambo and the two other mechanics (Guts Shaugnesy and Len Twiggy Smith) were being held on purely circumstantial evidence and were nothing to do with any Internet blackmail ring involving several Austrian track marshals, a web-cam and a certain Olga The Clamp Bravitch.

After re-composing himself, Charlton asked the press if they had enjoyed the TBA/RaceBase end of season party the previous evening. Most of the reporters confirmed that initially the thought of both teams getting together to host the bash had been the worst idea since someone had said "hey Murray, how about doing a bit of commentating?" However they all admitted they were wrong and it had been the best entertainment many of them had had in a long time.

Highlights included Larry Karam's impression of Shirley Temple singing ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’, Jason Endean celebrating his championship victory by lighting his farts, Rich Dixon providing constant mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on his girlfriend (6 mins, 20 secs without coming up for air), Chris Connolly and Peter Vischer doing their hilarious ‘Saddam & Khadafi’ comedy double act and the entire GPVWC version of the nativity (with sound effects) which went disastrously wrong when Charlton and GPVWC chief Dan Lawrence (playing the Archangel Gabriel and Joseph respectively) got into a fight as to who should get to shag Mary, played by GPVWC secretary Lucy ‘Busty’ Lasstic after the party.

When asked about the outcome of the fight Charlton said the scrap had all been in good humour and in the end neither of them got to ‘entertain’ Miss Lasstic as Neil Robinson beat them both to it! When asked about Lawrence’s no-show for the regular GPVWC press conference earlier in the day Charlton was pretty vague stating that after the fight Dave had been seen chatting to the cabaret act for the evening, a certain Erica Mellons. A GPVWC representative present at the TBA conference then stood up and stated that Lawrence had not been seen since offering Ms Mellons a ride home, and fears for Mr. Lawrence’s safety were growing and anyone seeing either Lawrence or Ms. Mellons should please get in touch with the GPVWC HQ as soon as possible. A photo of Ms Mellons was then provided:

As can be seen, the fate of Dan Lawrence could prove to be ‘interesting’.

Merry Christmas Everybody! Here’s to the 2001 Championship!